An Anthropomorphic Moment

​What if it was as easy for horses to sell their old humans as it sadly often is for humans to sell their old, ‘been there done that’ horses?
 
Indulge me please in my anthropomorphic moment.
 
I can just hear it now, a couple of good old geldings standing around the water trough talking about the pros and cons of trading in their current humans for newer models.
The first gelding starts the conversation like this: “My rider is just a little ornery, nothin that’ll get ya hurt but boy oh boy would I like a human with a little better attitude.”

“Well,” questions his friend, “Have you considered the fact that he might be hurtin? Maybe he needs a little chiropractic work?”

“No way,” replies the first disgruntled horse, “If you knew what I spent on that dud…nope cheaper just to replace him. He can be somebody else’s problem.”

“I hear that,” replies the second horse, “Gonna have ta let mine go too. We had a good run but she’s just too old to do what I need her to do. I’m still wanting to chase cattle and cans, and she’s content to dawdle down the trail. Yup, I gonna halve ta find me a kid and let the old girl go.”

“I hate to do it,” says the first horse, “But it’s been over two years since he hurt himself and he’s still complaining about it. Takes him forever to get up and off that mounting block. What I used to hear when we went for a ride was, ‘Good boy, Good boy’. Now all I hear is ‘Oh boy, Oh boy’. So I know what you mean about needing a kid. I tell you I like the old adage, ‘When the hair is grey send them on their way’.”

“It’s so hard to let them go,” comments a little mare, joining the conversation. “But I’m finally gonna trade my rider in too. I had high hopes of being in the show ring but another season has come and gone and my human just doesn’t have what it takes. I don’t know what else I can do. It feels like she’s been in training forever. I’ve finally gotten to the place where every time she flops forward I just stop fast and send her flying over my shoulder. You’d think she’d get it, but so far no. I don’t know how many times she’s going to have to hit the ground before she learns to sit a trot in a downward transition. And she’s not getting any younger, so if I’m ever going to make it in the show ring I need a better rider. Seriously, maybe she’s just too old to learn?”

“I do worry sometimes that the next horse might not treat my human well I want to make sure that she is cared for and I don’t want to see her get hurt. So when I sell my human it absolutely has to be to an approved home. Even though my human isn’t right for me, she has always been there for me and she’s always tried her best to do what I asked.”

“What do you call an approved home?” asks the geldings, curious.

“That’s easy,” replies the little mare, “an approved home is one where they have their own transportation to pick the human up and they are able to pay for her with cash.”

....Just sayin, …What if?...

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